We’re having another baby!! Our little Sweet Pea is 21 weeks into being “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14a). The last several months have gone along like our other two pregnancies with me being terribly sick all the time. We were in survival mode through the holidays and into the New Year. Recently, I started to feel better and was able to get back to normal activity. That changed last Monday.
Monday the 19th I woke up in the middle of the night bleeding. Sam rushed me to Triage. After getting all checked in (which takes an eternity!) we finally were able to hear our sweet baby’s heartbeat - he or she was still alive!! We praised the Lord and quickly began praying for answers and miraculous healing. After a very quiet ultrasound from the technician, we found out I had a 6cm abruption (my placenta was moving away from my uterus). We were devastated. And had a thousand questions that didn’t seemed to get answered. We called our community all around to pray for us and our Sweet Pea. And they did. We had people come to the hospital and pray for us that day. When we were sent home on bedrest later that afternoon with tons of questions, we had people come to our house, sit with us, and pray for us. We had people texting and calling and stopping by with food and praying for us. Monday night was a very hard night for us as we wrestled with the little information we knew. The only things we could do were cry and pray.
And God heard our prayers. Psalm 138 says: “On the day I called, you answered me; my strength and my soul you increased.” And Psalm 116:1-2 says: “I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.”
On Tuesday, we had more complications that sent us back to Triage. We had another ultrasound that revealed the spot had shrunk to 1 cm!! Praise Jesus!! The bleeding we had so desperately prayed would stop was actually moving the spot out. We were sent home relieved but still on bedrest and still with a lot of questions. We had a follow-up appointment scheduled with our OB and a new specialist on Monday. The next few days were a struggle for my mind and body. I continued to bleed for several days and stayed put in bed most of the time. I tried desperately to cling to truth, surrounding myself with prayer, scripture, and sermons. By the weekend the bleeding had stopped, but I was just as anxious as ever. Sunday my anxiety reached an all-time high and resulted in a full blown panic attack. We went back to Triage for some things I was concerned about. Thankfully, everything looked fine. Now to wait the remaining 18 hours until we saw our doctor.
On Monday we finally had our appointments. At the specialist’s, we got to see our Sweet Pea kicking, flipping, hiding, and being the little babe we have grown to love so much. His/Her heartbeat is so strong. And all of his/her measurements are showing I am making another big baby (94th percentile!). Then came the news: we had a confirmed abruption. My heart sank again. And a million questions came out of my mouth all at once. I had to pull my list of questions out so that I made sure I covered them all at least twice, if not four or five times. The doctor was so patient with us, answering each question time and time again. The first time she saw the abruption, she was worried. Now, since the abruption had decreased in size and the bleeding had stopped, she said we were no longer “high risk.” She sent us home on limited activity/homerest for the next three weeks until our next appointment with the prescription “do not worry.”
Now, how in the world is someone who suffers from anxiety suppose to not worry over their very active unborn child? Jesus. The only answer is Jesus. What He has been teaching me these last two weeks is that He is near to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18), that He hears our cries (Psalm 116:1-2), that He is good and faithful and our strength and song (Psalm 118). Minute by minute I have to surrender to Him and His plan for our lives. It has been one of the hardest things I have ever done (and does anyone remember our first delivery??). In the midst of the rollercoaster of last week, we saw God’s might and His care. In 1 Peter it says:
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:6-7
He is mighty enough to make a 6cm high-risk abruption shrink to a 2.5cm “don’t worry” abruption. He is caring enough to give us nurses, doctors, and sonogram technicians who have been loving towards us, walking us through what this all means. He is mighty to bring people all over the United States together in prayer for us and for our Sweet Pea. He is caring enough to show us His love through the tangible gifts of our community. We do not know what the next 19 weeks hold. We pray with all our might that they hold an ever-growing baby that will arrive healthy on July 5th. But in the not knowing, there is something we can hold onto: God knows.
“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! ‘For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?’ ‘Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?’ For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.” Romans 11:33-36
Sweet Pea is from Him. He/She has been made through His might and care. And Sweet Pea will alway be His. To Him be glory forever and forever. Amen.
**Please join us in prayer as we pray for our Sweet Pea. Please pray for my placenta to fully heal and reattach to my uterus (which it can do!). Please pray for miraculous healing inside my womb. Please pray for our toddlers as they are struggling with Mommy being unable to do everything she used to be able to do and Daddy’s time being divided. Please pray for our teenagers as they are walking through life and helping us around the house. Please pray for Sam and I to seek God and rest in Him. Thank you!!**