Yesterday I (Dusty) was washing the dishes and had my back to our kitchen island where Sawyer was sitting in a chair and Jahnabell was sitting on-top of in her bumbo. I heard her smile-evoking "Hi" and turned around to see her... out of her bumbo, one foot over the edge of the counter. Sheer terror overtook me as I grabbed her with soapy hands and collapsed on the floor, sobbing over her and thanking Jesus she did not fall.
This week at Men's & Women's Development we learned the Incommunicable Characteristics of God: Independence, Unchangeableness, Eternity, Omnipresence, and Unity. While I have been in church practically my whole life, I learned a lot. I feel like I took many, if not all, of these characteristics for granted. Here's the thing: God's independence makes me all the more significant - He doesn't need me, but He wants me - and His investment in me is not reliant on my works or when I make mistakes as a Mommy. His Unchangeableness means He can be trusted and that everything will be worked for our good, even when I am careless and don't strap Jahnabell in. His Eternality means that He is moving everything towards the purposes of Jesus, even in times of sorrow and suffering. His Omnipresence means He will provide; He was not present as a passive bystander when Jahnabell crawled out of her bumbo onto the counter. And His Unity means He is all things, all the time - in the good and in the bad.
I have continually thanked Him since Jahnabell's near accident. I am thankful He spared us sorrow and suffering. But here is truth: even if she had fallen, God would STILL be ALL of those things listed above. Nothing in His character changes (His Unchangeableness). This is still a concept I am struggling with and, thankfully, growing in. When I think I am in control, and that I can be the protector of my children, I am reminded that God is truly the one over all. And His incommunicable attributes make it so He will never be anything less.
And this is where Job comes back in to play. Go read it. It's great. But it will rock your world. Job wants to hear from God on why he is suffering (because he has suffered almost every possible kind of suffering). God answers. When He does, you see His incommunicable attributes, along with some pretty humorous sarcasm. I am reminded, again, God is God and I am not. It is so hard letting go of my children, but they are not entirely mine - they are first and foremost God's, the Creator of all things (of Sawyer and Jahnabell), and I find comfort in Him. I choose to think on His character and His power, as displayed in the book of Job, over letting fear rule my conscience.
Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:
"Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone - while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?" Job 38:1-7
So besides Jahnabell being a pretty spectacular (read: terrifying) acrobat, she is such a joy! Every person she sees, she lights up and says, "hi!" to. They can't help but smile back. She is still trying out walking, taking it a little slower this week. She does have a stinky little cold. But she has also popped through her 5th tooth - which makes her smile even cuter! Sawyer is enjoying school. He is learning to write more and more letters and is very interested in knowing how everything is spelled. He loves helping me write "lists" and "directions." This week we have enjoyed popsicles and sprinklers (since it is still 99* outside!).
(Note: I do not and cannot hold bumbo responsible for my carelessness. I feel like I need to put that out there.)